


Just a Bit Too Tight

by Fuzzy_Mat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, Logan Angst, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Panic Attack, Suicidal Thoughts, bad time for logan all around, like two (2) curses in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25987777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuzzy_Mat/pseuds/Fuzzy_Mat
Summary: OG Summary: Logan always made sure his necktie was nice and tight. (Afterall, every dog needs a collar and leash)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Just a Bit Too Tight

**Author's Note:**

> OG Notes: no readmore due to being on mobile; no beta reading either ~~(we die like men); if anyone wants to write a comfort follow up they’re allowed to just don’t have patton doing it please.~~
> 
> Ignore the readmore, I [originally](https://fuzzynat.tumblr.com/post/186911724100/just-a-bit-too-tight) posted this on tumblr at August 10th, 2019; I'm reuploading it here as tumblr's tag system is really funky and I want my writings to all be in a easy to access place. Nothing has been altered from the original (including html) beyond basic misspellings 
> 
> Please tell me if I need to add any tags and such (also sorry for the sorta upcoming wave of my old writings in the tag; I'm just slowly moving them here in one go while I'm at it)

The day started off as any other. He woke up at 8 am sharp and was already in the motion of getting ready. It was only when he was putting on his tie did things go awry.

He didn’t know what it was that set him off, as clearly there was no reason even seeing himself with his tie on should cause him so much distress, but just as he was tightening his tie up the last bit, it felt like something deep inside snapped in a way. He stared at his reflection in the mirror; one hand holding the knot of the tie as the other held the bottom. He didn’t understand why his tie suddenly felt much too tight given he always tightened it the perfect amount every morning, or why his reflection seemed to grow blurrier with each passing second.

Suddenly, he was gripping the sink for dear life as it felt as if the rope like fabric kept growing tighter each second. He knew it wasn’t logical since he was no longer even touching the damned fabric but nothing else could explain why he could no longer even get a single proper breath in. At least, if he was in a better state of mind he could more than likely tell what was occurring within seconds but all he knew right now was that his face was damp, he couldn’t breathe and by god did it hurt.

His mind was in a continuous loop of: it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. **It hurts. It hurts. _It hurts._**

His screams would even be echoing around in the small bathroom right now if he could even get his lungs to work properly. He was so used to taking as little breath as possible in his everyday life for max ~~quietness~~ efficiency but even his usual small huffs were incapable of forcing themselves through whatever clogged his throat.

His hands scrambled for the tie, hoping dearly it was just the mocking blue rope that was preventing even the slightest bit of control over his breathing, but as they tore it off, nothing changed. He was still practically gasping for the slightest bit of breath like some kind of madman. In fact, seeing his throat bare, blaring that nothing physically was preventing his breath, somehow made the whole situation worse as he crumpled onto the floor.

With tears gently cascading down his face, what could be likened to a raging fire in his chest and an invisible string wrapped tightly around his throat, he curled his body up as tight as he could on the bathroom floor. He didn’t quite know how long he had been laying there just trying to get some semblance of control but he couldn’t uncurl his body no matter how hard he tried. It was going on for so long in his mind that he began to wonder if it was possible he’d just suffocate to death-

He didn’t know where that thought came from… Yet somehow the thought of this ending, even in such a final manner,… Soothed him ? If he were to suffocate here, even with all this pain, all the pain would stop. He wouldn’t have to worry about breathing. About getting up everyday. About doing the nonstop work his role provided. About how the others constantly ignored him. About how much their words stung him so deeply each time. About the constant underlying fear deep in his bones. About how he wouldn’t have to act so obedient no matter what. It would all go away.

Slowly uncurling, he found that string around his throat beginning to loosen as he shakily stood back up; little pants forcing themselves out from between his lips. A hand wiped away the tears and grabbed hold of that cursed tie again. Yes. His mind was made up. If he just put a stop to it all, this would never happen and he’d be free. He just would like to at least spend one more morning with the others and prepare anything he needs to prior to this engagement.

With that in mind, he tightened his tie ~~just a bit too tight~~ and went about his day.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [fuzzynat](https://fuzzynat.tumblr.com)  
> I don't write for this fandom really anymore but I'm moving all my old writings over here 
> 
> I honestly don't like this one as much as it's an old vent fic I wrote at like 4 am but for storing purposes up it goes I guess ?


End file.
